I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize