If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
