I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
