Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
