Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize