She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
