Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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