a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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