I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
