That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
