I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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