either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
