I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
