My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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