I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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