He uses pillows to masturbate.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
