Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
