my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
