maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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