Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
