i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
