Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
