dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
