I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
try to milk me bitch
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