She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
