They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
