I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So. Much. Porn.
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