it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
