You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
