Someone shit on the floor
one might say we're banned from that church
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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