You're so nebulous sometimes
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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