What a fucking waste of an outfit
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
