Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
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