I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize