I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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