Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
