i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
