She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize