if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
