About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
tell me about the fingering
Randomize