You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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