Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think my moral compass just broke
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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