He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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