Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just tell him i said nine months
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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