Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
