I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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