you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
