theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
