Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
