Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
