Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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