you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
