Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
one might say we're banned from that church
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
