Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
