dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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