It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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