It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
