Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
