So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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