I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize