OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We have started to decorate penises.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
