A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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