she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
that is very illegal...i love you.
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