# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
