Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
