where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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