I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
