do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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