Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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