just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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