you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
