god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
