So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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