I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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