What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
